4) Her enthusiasm is not for your amusement

4) Her enthusiasm is not for your amusement

Contrasting Scotti’s point, a geeky girl does not get excited in order to show off. She does not geek out in order to be objectified or pandered to. She geeks out because that is her way. She fangirls over Neko Case, Ewan McGregor, or Neil deGrasse Tyson because it is in her nature.

A close friend of mine in college said, “Anything worth doing is worth obsessing over!” She is currently a reigning national pie champion in the blueberry Comstock category, as well as one of the top software engineers for a national non-profit. Her husband is totally supportive of her passions and is an outstanding sous chef.

A geek girl’s passion is entirely internally driven. It’s not about her making an effort to be quirky, it’s about expressing herself and her obsessive drives. You either have to appreciate that or get out of the way.

5) Her obsessions are often extremely time-consuming

Have you ever dated a cosplayer? Do you have any idea how much time they spend sewing? That constant time commitment is not just limited to cosplaying, either.

Geeky women are busy. Any woman with a passion that even borders on geekdom finds herself with little downtime. She doesn’t know how to be bored, but she also won’t always be around to do your laundry or cook your dinners. She may bounce around bat caves in Belize for post-doc research or draw comics about Alan Turing and Ada Lovelace for fun. Or she may have geeky interests, which include rewatching the entire Star Trek original series quarterly. These are priorities to her and you must allow her time for these things.

6) Conventional femininity is not the enemy of geekdom

Scotti doesn’t seem to think that geeky girls wear makeup. Of course, he also supposedly praises geeky girls, stating that they’ll likely get prettier in the future. That they’re only a couple of years (or a really great boyfriend like you!) away from their swan moments, when they grow up, learn how to contour, and finally get Lasik surgery. [Read more…]